bad mommy

i know i shouldn't but i had to. last night was a bad night and Cooper didn't sleep at all so at about 5am I put him in his carseat where he fell asleep for a few hours. It isn't something i want to make a habit of but i think sitting up helps him a little.

Cash continues to amuse his father and I. Lately he will pee in his diaper and rush over to me and say, "big diaper!". He also picks up really heavy stuff (i'm so worried he'll end up with a hernia) and say in this really deep and breathless voice "heavy". He loves to read books and right now his favorites are the Fire Engine Book and Duck and Goose find a Pumpkin. He also likes to talk about what things say - mostly animals but sometimes he'll ask me about objects that dont say anything - that's when i have to get creative. He is so aware of everything and for Cash everything has its place. Chandler and I usually sit in the same seats for dinner but if we sit in different seats Cash will make us move. He asks for "big bites" but will also ask for things to be "cut up" if he can't manage the bite. He still doesn't like to brush his teeth.

Cash really likes going to school. last night when he came home he cried (screamed really) "I wanna go back to Sylvia's", "Please back to Sylvia's", "Go back to Emma". So i guess he's having a good time.

brothers

each morning when Cash wakes up he asks to see Cooper and climbs up into mommy and daddy's bed to see him.
I just want to remember that for when they are older and fighting each other!!

Cash's last week as a 1 year old

Cash is such an amazing little boy sometimes I forget he isn't 2 already. The past year has been a really amazing one for this little guy. Cash has learned to walk, talk, run, talk more. He has moved from a crib to a big boy bed. And gotten a new brother. He is getting more and more independent and can do so much more on his own. He is also starting to recognize things like when he goes to the bathroom in his diaper and when he has feelings (like sad or happy).
He is such a special boy. I am sad he is growing up but also glad that he is getting bigger and getting to experience new fun things as a bigger boy.
Some things that Cash really likes now:
His dummies - of course! He now keeps his dummies in a "dummy bag" that is attached to the guard on his bed. We try to keep the dummies for use in the car and at bed and nap time but sometimes he sneaks them out. He also thinks he's pretty sneaky when he puts Cooper's dummies in his mouth.
His blanket. This blanket has healing powers and also makes going to bed and taking a nap so much easier.
Mimi & Danny. Who knew that these two would still be at the top after all this time. They do everything togehter.
Firetrucks - or any sort of transportation or construction vehicle.
Coloring. He loves to sit on the floor and color in coloring books or draw on his new easel. this is really something that we can all do together.
Asking questions. Cash asks questions nonstop! Often the questions have no answers, like, "what are you doing mommy." It is fun trying to come up with answers for Cash - because he'll keep asking questions until he gets an answer he likes.
Candy or sweets. Lollipops are his new favorite. Good thing he also likes tangerines and raisins too.
Cash still does not love to brush his teeth and would go forever without a bath if we let him.
We'll have a little party at Sylvia's house on Friday with his friends Emma, Gabby and Austin and then we'll wait to have a family party when Sarah, Bobby and Allison get here.

Cooper - week 3

Cooper is doing well but he is really fussy. I guess he needs to grow into his digestive system but he seems to have a really hard time passing gas and going poop. He is eating often but i'm not sure how much he is getting because he eats really quickly. I think he gets a little frustrated because he chokes on my milk sometimes. I have to pump before I feed him to make sure he gets some of the fatty milk and not just the watery stuff.
He is into size 1 diapers now and is too long for most of the newborn clothes but fits nicely into the 0-3 month stuff and some 3 month stuff.
We finally found a bathtub that I like. With Cash we went through about 3 tubs and i hated them all for one reason or another. The tub we found is just a regular plastic infant tub but it has an attachement that looks like a hammock that the baby lays in until he is old enough to sit up a little more. Cooper has had a couple baths now and it seems to be the best nap inducer ever!

Please don't think i am a bad mother but...

I much more enjoyed being a first time mother. Not because i don't love my babies and not because i don't want a house full of them but because the ignorance and arrogance I felt when we brought Cash home was a much easier feeling than the second time around. Cash is such a good boy and raising him seemed so easy and he has turned out so well that all I do now is want to repeat my steps with Cooper - exactly. But the problem is I don't think i actually "did" anything to make Cash the way he is so now i'm having a real problem replicating that. Also, I need to realize Cash and Cooper are different people and they just might be different in the end - no matter what I do.